If you want to give your kids the best start in life and inspire them to become rich and famous you’re better off giving them a bad start: after all, what have nice middle class kids at prep school got to aspire to? If you want to check whether your background was deprived enough to make you the next Guy Ritchie or Martha Lane Fox, just take a browse through this quiz…
1. When asked “What do you want to be when you grow up?” what was your original choice?
a) Bank manager, police officer, lawyer, relate counsellor.
b) Astronaut, scientist, pilot, Florence Nightingale, Marie Curie worker.
c) Actress, dancer, singer, Floella Benjamin.
d) Refuse collector, sewage treatment worker, wrestler, Great Train Robber.
2. Where did your parents take you in the summer holidays?
a) Mustique, Bermuda, Switzerland – always first class, of course.
b) France, Spain, Italy – camping holidays or reasonable hotels.
c) Blackpool, Margate, Torquay – Butlin’s or cheap B&B’s.
d) The park if you were lucky.
3. What was the biggest skeleton in your family’s closet?
a) Uncle Cecil didn’t have a million in the bank – honestly, it was only half a mill.
b) Auntie Nellie used to be Uncle Ned, who is no longer referred to.
c) Great Auntie Nellie was a travelling Tiller girl who broke off more engagements than Darren Day (but always kept the ring).
d) Uncle Bert was on first name terms with the Kray brothers.
4. When you bought your first car you were delighted because…
a) You had enough change in your Trust fund to buy a pet pooch.
b) Mum and Dad chipped in for the tax and MOT, as they did for each of you on your 18th birthdays.
c) It had taken you two years of overtime to buy your dream car.
d) You knew the battered Fiat 126 wouldn’t get nicked on the estate.
5. When flat or house hunting your priorities are…
a) Location, location and location – doesn’t simply everyone know that darling?
b) Transport and affordability – you have to strike a balance according to your budget.
c) Local celebrities you might be able to bump into.
d) That the roof doesn’t leak and the floor doesn’t squeak.
6. At work you’ve made a name for yourself for…
a) Your late arrival, long lunches and endless phone calls with all your fascinating friends.
b) Acting as office facilitator and peacekeeper for all kinds of minor squabbles and irritations.
c) Your quiet but steely determination, having been promoted from post clerk to junior management trainee within less than 2 years.
d) Pinching the office stationery, other people’s ideas and the cute despatch rider’s bottom.
7. You’ve been invited to a friend’s wedding reception. How will you arrive?
a) In the hired Bentley that you just know the bride’s family will arrange for you.
b) Neat and on time with your perfectly wrapped gift chosen from the lower priced items on the present list.
c) Late and flamboyantly in an outfit that only narrowly eclipses the bride’s.
d) Drunk and disorderly with the rest of the crowd from the pub who watched the football rather than the ceremony.
8. You’ve been invited to a charity reception. Which celebrity would you head for?
a) Tamara Beckwith – it’s always nice to bump into someone you know already.
b) Gwyneth Paltrow – just so you could compliment her on her excellent English accent in “Sliding Doors”.
c) Martha Lane Fox – you’d just have to ask her about the secret of her internet success.
d) Jerry Springer – your family has got more skeletons than his show has time for.
How did you score?
What are you doing reading this? Have you mislaid your copy of Country Life?
You are a middle class bore who’s never had to struggle for anything either. This is not a financial advice website, so what are you doing here as well?
So you’ve got ambition and drive – big deal – just make sure you don’t drive everyone mad letting them know about it.
Fancy a cuppa?