Why every man should marry a secretary

Whilst prurient jokes about bosses and secretaries still abound, the reality is far from as depicted on seaside postcards. Most professional firms take a very dim view on relations between “professional/managerial” staff and “the workers” (secretaries and other support staff). Even when both parties are young, free and single it is deemed “not the done thing” for the professional staff to be “stepping out” with the plebs. So eager are bankers, lawyers and other young professionals to create the right image, that a tacit codicil exists, precluding social fraternising with anyone on a lower rung of the ladder than themselves. This means, in effect, that ambitious young professionals have created a climate in which they can only date within their own strata, only ever marry someone equally as ambitious, thrusting and go getting as themselves. Quality time conflicts and career burn out are natural consequences.

How odd then that professionals who deem those who work as “just a secretary” beneath them, have overlooked the obvious advantages of dating and marrying the support staff!

1. Most secretaries are not as ambitious as the lawyers and bankers charging or earning £100 an hour. If they were, they would choose equally stressful jobs. A simple, hassle-free 9 to 5 with a reasonable monthly pay cheque is all that most secretaries desire. A less ambitious wife will never be the cause of a major career conflict.

2. A less ambitious partner is also, by definition, and almost completely symbiotically more supportive of her partner’s ambitions. Many secretaries are the “power behind the throne” in the office, and a few in the home as well. The secretary-wife will always ensure her husband is reflected in the best light.

3. A few secretaries are only working as a secretary as a stepping-stone or stopgap before going on to something better. These “secretaries in disguise” are almost always worth getting to know better and cultivating, although very few management or professional staff do, blindly assuming all secretaries come from “Planet Adler” where the only thing they know is how to type.

4. All secretaries have nurturing and caring tendencies as well – haven’t you noticed the collection of teddies, beanies and other furry gonks on your secretary’s desk? Kidnap one for a day and see the distress you would cause. (This could, of course, lead to a date if you were to start leaving ransom notes for your secretary inamorata.)

5. Diplomacy is a skill perfected by all secretaries worldwide. Having learnt early on not to correct their boss’ English (for it will only come back with a request to put the incorrect word back in) your secretary-wife will never correct your anecdotes, diction or otherwise show you up in public.

6. Organisation is also the secretary’s trademark and should you want a wife who can run a house like clockwork, organise the school run, her job, your job and every social occasion from an informal coffee morning to a state banquet, the secretary-wife is the one you’ve been looking for.